B-reel Footage: Season 2, Episode 11 – The Emerald Isle
Location: Outside of Kinnitty, Ireland in the Slieve Bloom Mountains
Scene: The crew is being led “deeper” into a grove of woods in search of an ancient Druidic grove known as The Hart of Danu. Aiden will get “separated” from the group for a moment and the cameras will go wonky. As the crew searches for Aiden, they will stumble across an old circle of moss covered rocks and the cameras will fail. Reconvening shot back at the base camp when Aiden returns, confused and discombobulated.
Aiden: “Damn this brush is thick shite. Couldn’t you guys have cleared a bit of a path first? These are new trek pants and I don’t want them snagged.”
Producer: “We’ll buy you some new ones, Aid. We need this to be authentic, so blaze your own damned trail.”
The group starts making their way over several moss-covered boulders and through a dense patch of trees. As the cameramen scramble to keep up, Aiden has put some distance between them. Once they get across the boulders, Aiden is gone.
Producer: “The fuck did he go? Did anyone see him? Aiden? Aiden! Cut the cameras.”
[ Audio recording from Aiden Venture on his iPhone ]
Aiden: Not sure what the fuck is happening right now. Things are twisted. I was on location in Ireland to shoot the druid grove video and I was separated from my producer and crew. I stumbled across an old hermit’s house. He then challenges me to kill a boar. Bloody thing was nearly the size of a VW bus. Somehow I killed it. Sheer luck and panic is my guess. I’m not sure exactly who the guy was, but he claims to be me pa. How in the eff is this guy me pa? Says his name is Lugh and that he and me ma had at it. Then he gave me some gifts, which turned out to be pretty incredible. Almost makes me believe in some form of magic, these gifts. I got an antique looking lantern – turns out that it can illuminate invisible things and tracks. I also got a cloak and a spear. At least I’ll be warm and ready for any more boar attacks.
Then I ended up in an effing rainforest in Bolivia or somewhere. Maybe I am suffering from jetlag and didn’t remember wrapping up the shoot in Ireland? Maybe I participated in an ayahuasca ceremony down here and it fried my brain?
Then two guys fell from the sky, got caught in the canopy and fell down in front of me. Not sure where and the hell they came from, but they said it was from a plane. They say they are Scions and that I am too, whatever in the hell that means. I left with them because I was in an effing jungle and had no idea where I was, no guide, and no protection – one of these guys had some serious firepower, so it seemed the play. They led me to an effing Aztec sacrifice temple or some shite and it seems that my lantern was quite handy. I shone it on the ground in broad daylight and it illuminated a path leading into the temple. The boys said it’d be good to get a feel for being one of these Scion things, so I go with them. An effing obsidian statue of an Aztec god attacks us and it takes a lot to shatter the blasted thing. Then we hear screams of some lass and go running into what turns out to be a trap. We were in a magma chamber and some silent killer was looking to sacrifice this girl that one of the boys seemed to be sweet on. We had a hell of a tussle and came out on top, or so we thought. That’s when she double crossed us all and we were nearly blown up. The boys I was with says that they’ve encountered this bunch before and that they’re real trouble. Seems like another wannabe gang or low-level IRA rooks to me.
Anyways, I’m going to keep these audio recordings for now cause the phone itself ain’t working. My online life coach says I should keep a diary anyways, so here’s to nothing.