Conner, entry 1
I’ll be damned if I go to hell again, literally I mean. “Ye don’t deny the devil a deal, Conner me boy” my uncle used to tell me, “you take the deal and then shoot him in the arse as he walks away thinking he got one over on ya.” Me uncle would then take a big swig of his own made whiskey and laugh like he had caught the pooka in the kitchen red handed. I should have listened to him, I think the devil will be shooting me right square in my arse as I walk away.
I’m a man on quest. A quest for the biggest git that ever was born. My friends and I are going to the underworld and we will be bringing out the love of me heart and a good ol lad along with us. Only the biggest fool would do anything fer a woman, well I am in love and that makes me down right suicidal as it were. Ye have to be in order to go walking down to Hade’s front door of yer own accord. Right now we are sitting down to rest outside of a small place outside of the domicile of Hades, not the most wonderful place to be I might add. We spent the past few days running around like fairies in a forest during a rain storm being chased by the banshee.
It all started when we entered the labyrinth. I must tell you the version that Mr. Henson thought up was bleeding Disneyland next to this hole of a place. Hell if David Bowie had shown up I would have sung along with him even. No instead we meet up with a pack of rampaging Minotaur freaks that would rape us and eat us, not in any particular order or at separate times.
After killing about 13 of them and making it look easy we took off running for cover, a few scores I can handle alone, but when we begin talking about swarms like mosquitoes on the bog having less numbers than these uglies, well its best to live and fight another day if you can. We found the center of the Labyrinth with out to much trouble. Daedalus is an alright feller, even if a little touched in the head. He can make a contraption like no other I will give him that. We spent some time hanging around his place just relaxing while Simon read through some books and what not. I learned how to make some fine brew in no time at all thanks to the inventor. Here we meet up with the Doc and a little latter his traveling companion, Nathan, who is all about wyrd and following its way. After recovering the book we needed there we began to fly off and had to beat down Icarus in an air battle to a nigh plunging death. It was pretty cool.
Honestly I expected the underworld to be hotter it wasn’t to bad really. We were of course attacked by a giant automaton outside of Hades’ palace. The molten hot lava spewing out onto me after I chopped into its neck was hot fer sure. I felt like a right done lobster I did. Thanks to the doc though I was back into the fight in no time. The blow was amazing though. With a deflective shoot to the spear from Ira the Automaton was defenseless. Simon punctured the things chest with a well aimed bullet and then Dmitri gave me a foothold when his arrow lodged into the hole. I jumped off of the things knee and swung up onto the arrow shaft, from there I raised my sword a cut deep into the throat of the machine.
All of this still didn’t make me sweat like dealing with the devil did. He came off first trying to convince us that we each owed him 326 souls for cost in damages, right pissed I was. But then I began negotiating in business terms as it were. He refused to hand over Alyssa at first and began bargaining for Johnny alone. I got him to open up with my smooth skills and soon we were bargaining for both souls. At one point I even made him wine with an invention given to me by Daedalus. This sparked a reaction that I didn’t expect, Hades offered to adopt me as his son, he might as well have hit me across the face. Not knowing what to do I took the offer of a mission for one soul and I would think on the adoption for the other. Deep down I am really hoping that the sun of Ireland will shine on me and lady luck will be giving me another way out of this barrel of rotten potatoes that I’m in.