Dear Diary. Who starts a journal this way? Sounds like a 13yo girl writing about her first crush. I’ll try again.
I probably won’t be able to stay in The States much longer. Student visa ran out a while ago, and ‘ol Donnie is anxious to get the foreigners out. Today, I called mum and she bought me a ticket to Salt Lake City, Utah. It’s nothing like home here, but beautiful in a way. I came to meet a fella named Connor in the Lucky Clover, and meet him I did. He’s a big bruiser of a bartender, and a bit more. I’ll get to that part.
Anyways, Connor offered me to do some work for him helping people, but only after I helped him tend bar. So I did it for a while, passably well I might say. But Connor handled all the food orders, and I really have no idea where that food was coming from. I’ll have to get his secret someday, because one thing’s for sure, he ain’t the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ feeding that horde by miracle.
SO. We’re minding our own, helping customers, and everyone is settled in nice and tight for their supper. Then walks in this gorilla of a man. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but he was odd. I’d been smelling odd stuff all night, but when this guy walks in, he was so pungent several people turned around to look at him. Connor didn’t like the look of him one bit, so he closed down the bar. He asks this gorilla-fella to leave, and gets cold cocked for his trouble. Not only that, but Connor flies clean across the room! I run over to check him, he’s unconscious, so I turn to the big fella, and see one of the other gents in the bar has done the same. I get my licks in, but so does the big fella, and HE IS ON FIRE. This makes me kinda angry. Normal folk aren’t supposed to be on fire without burnin’. So I do the only sensible thing. I climb up on a table to get a good angle at him, and I jump punch him in the face… and I pass out from the heat of his flames goin’ up me nose or some such.
Obviously I came to, or I wouldn’t be writing this. Felt a lot better too!
So now there’s some other blokes here. One famous fella from the movies or some such. Another they say brought me around, and one fella they say helped out in the fight, but I don’t much remember him. Connor’s back up as well, and he takes us into the back room full of weapons and such that I caught just a glimpse of earlier. I wish I would have thought about those when fighting the flaming guy! Anyway, the older fella tell us all we’re sons of Gods or some such. I don’t normally go in for that kind of thing, but then me da, the king of the Irish pantheon, appears and I can read and write Gaelic and Connor is my half-brother and I have a pet fox named Eadna, and a new fancy sword and… I’m still figurin’ it out. Gonna sleep for now. Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow and it’ll all have been a dream.